Finding my feet in the sea

It’s been a while since I’ve written one of these.

I think I’ve been in a bit of a phase of change, although from the outside it probably just looks like I’ve been keeping my head down and getting on with things. The last month has mostly been work, work, work. Three hospitality jobs, the height of summer, long days and not quite enough hours left over for the studio. I’ve been tired. Properly tired. The kind of tired where getting home and doing absolutely nothing feels like a very good use of an evening.

But underneath all of that, I’ve been making a whole bunch of decisions.

I have the privilege of not being particularly tied to one place. I can go if I want to. I can stay if I want to. I could look for another job, I could pack a bag and go travelling again, I could make a little more space for the work, or I could simply see what happens next.

And the funny thing is, I really like where I am right now.

I like Cornwall. I like the people I've found here. I like my little routines and the places I’ve started to know. But I’m beginning to realise that liking somewhere doesn’t necessarily mean I’m ready to stay there forever.

There’s something in me that is craving a bit of movement again.

A new place. A new job. A different view from the window. The possibility of being slightly lost for a while and seeing what turns up.

I’m not quite ready to be so steady. Maybe that’s what this summer has been about.

Keeping my head down, doing the work, getting through the busy season, while quietly knowing that something will shift when it ends. I don’t know exactly what yet. And for once, I’m quite enjoying not knowing.

There’s a strange freedom in being somewhere you like, while still allowing yourself to imagine somewhere else.

So for now, I’ll keep moving forward.

And when the season changes, perhaps I’ll see which way I want to go.

Holly,

Somewhere near the Atlantic.